Let Me Interupt

Let me begin first and foremost by apologizing to the people who look at this blog for some information on my mind. I post here for various reasons, but the strongest of these is I require some place to release some of my thought into the universe. I don't mind that people read this, or don't, but what I do need is a way to release the words, the sentences, the paragraphs, from my mind. Any addict will tell you there's a tension when you don't give into his prevailed vice...if I don't write or express myself through written word, I cannot get through the day. Twitter and facebook help with the short bursts, for the things that require a little extra individual attention, this is where I come. La Mote Juste started last year (March 24) as a way to help release that tension. It's both the blade cutting into my soul and the place where it can safely rest. It's more than I could ever describe.

So there's this blog about my life, and most of the time, yes, I'm going to be posting images I've found on the internet, or poetry I've acquired from one place or another. But there are moments like now where I can rehash my life as it stands.

So here we go:

Sorority - At the moment there is an issue of hazing within my chapter, something that cannot and will not be tolerated in any possible meaning of the word. Hazing is anything that makes a new member uncomfortable for whatever reason and that happened here. Thankfully our EVP and President are taking care of the matter, but it makes things...tense, to say the very least. With that tension in the air, the problem of elections is coming up. I've decided to run for EVP (Executive Vice President) which will mean quite a few lost hours and the requirement of turning over my soul. I don't know if I'll be elected or not, but Senior Slate (seniors choose who they think is best for the job) is tomorrow, and elections are Sunday. So that's that.

Relationships - The short and easy of this is that I have no idea and I'm not really questioning this. The boy is...my boy. I realized the other day that I do not hold any grudges on him...his slate really is clean. It's just this now, just for however long it will be...and if it's cut short again like the last time, I'm going to keep on going. There's a wild world out there. Friendship wise...Kor and I seem to be drifting apart, but I've been incredibly busy and that's been an issue. I haven't spoken to Quil since our last discussion and I don't have the patience to deal with it either. Egon has been quiet since I ripped him a new one...which is good. I've been working at being nicer to Tath, since I noticed I tended to snap at her more than was absolutely necessary. I don't know why I do that...but am sincerely working on being a nicer, more patient person. One of the girls from Caufar went off the flipping deep end...not sure what happened with her, but am grateful she's finally having to work on her issues. Fi and I are 'engaged' (it's facebook official, you know) and the boy has asked to be a bride's maid. My Wifey just might let him....on the home front, things seem to be going fairly well. I don't have many friends outside of my sorority (who has the time?!) but things seem good beyond the general tension throughout. Hopefully that'll be elevated by the graduating class leaving soonish.

Education - Classes are going well. I'm signing up for 18 hours next semester (yes I want to diiiie) including a class that will end my needed practicum hours and start on my English minor. I'm a Communication Arts major with whatever emphasis I have more hours with at the end of the two years (I think it'll be advertising.) I've decided to work on staying here all four years...hopefully this will work out where my relationship is concerned.

So there you have it...in a nutshell.

Adios.

Don't Go Sister, C.L. Dean - Poetry Collection

Don't Go
Sister Dear,
Or else I'll shed
too many tears.

Don't Leave.
I'm not Grown.
I need you now,
To help gather what I've
sown.

Don't leave
Sister Sweet,
If you go,
Who will always help me to
my feet?

Who will call me vain?
Who will talk to me,
Always, in Complete
Honesty?

Don't go
Sister Please.
Or the tears will
forever run through my eye's
crease.

Don't leave, not yet,
I'm still lame,
You're my crutch.

Don't leave
Sister Dear,
If you leave,
I'll shed too many tears.

there's so many things I could tell you...

Ginko Leaves & Memories

I walk through the leaves. The colors splash the cement like pastels on a canvas, oranges here, browns there, the deepest reds you've ever seen. Kentucky has a magical way of spending fall on her occupiers, lavishing her trinkets, her gifts, like miracles after such a green summer, as if by showing her naughty side before she goes dormant for winter, she's making it up to us.

Maybe she is...you can't really tell when you're in the middle of things, looking up through the slowly stripping trees. You can only tell when fall is leaving, or winter is arriving, when it has already started or when it is ending. Can you tell where a beginning begins? Or where the end of the chapter is until you're there? I'm walking, not quite sure in what direction, and for once in my life...the steps are more important than the outcome.

There could be pain, there could be joy...in the end it doesn't even matter.

The ride is more important

Let It Be

So I knew it would happen. Actually said as much before I went to bed last night when I was too excited to sleep....this morning he tells me he can't come because his shifts weren't covered by this guy. So he's not coming this time. As depressed as I am about it, I don't feel like this is, and forgive me if I'm wrong, the end. I feel like our relationship is quite a bit stronger than it was two years ago (good lord, we are getting old, love) and that it will happen when it can. So let it be.

And I'm gonna breathe.